There is absolutely no denying that start-up life is hard going. It's really hard work if you're the start-up person. You have to work crazy hours, often for not much money. You have to give your all to the start-up. Otherwise it won't work and you might as well go and do a 9-5pm job somewhere else. It's not supposed to be easy. Who wants easy anyway?
But as the wife and mother I also have to put in a huge amount of work and effort into the start-up. Not in actual work (although there have been times when I've done some work and I am always busy doing that wife admin thing. I hate the stereotype of that. But I can do it and he can't!) But in the belief that start-up life is worth it. That it's working. That one day we won't have to (far too literally and far too often) count the pennies.
Sometimes I don't have any energy left for start-up life. It can be exhausting. The highs and the lows. The living in the moment because you can't plan much. Life is pretty uncertain a lot of the time. Keeping everyone happy at home during the times when my husband's hours are so crazy that we just don't see him. And then there's the waiting and hoping for the future when things will be easier.
But somehow year after year I hang on. We hang on. The ups keep us going. And, deep down I have a really strong belief that all of it is completely worth it. That what my husband is doing is really worthwhile and will also one day make our family life easier.
It may sound like a bit of a cheesy comparison but I really do feel like start-up life is often like living in the grey, dark, cold Winter but eventually Spring comes and it's beautiful, energizing, happy and warm. Spirits are lifted and off we go into another cycle of start-up life. It feels like we are actually entering a beautiful Spring in our start-up adventure. I can't work out if we just feel great and positive about everything because of all this wonderful sunshine or whether we have, in fact, turned another corner. I'll only be able to tell on a rainy day!
Being a start-up wife requires a lot of deep belief and trust in your partner. You may or may not be part of the start-up and the work but it's definitely always a team venture. It's a proper adventure and like all big adventures it require a a big strong belief that you can do it, that you can reach the end, or the top, or the middle of the jungle, or whenever it is that your going. Fortunately we both have a huge reserve of determination, strength, self-belief and belief in each other. We keep going. And we are making it. One day at a time, one season at a time.
This post is inspired by the work I have been doing and the lovely words I have been reading during Susannah Conway's beautiful course Blogging from the Heart. And these magnolias blossoms are really making my heart sing this week. They are so wonderful and special. And definitely worth the wait.